Shortfart's Long Loud Fart

Its Over

2006-11-18T22:37:00.000+08:00

Hi all,

I have decided to stop writing. Reason being
1) Due to the never ending list of things I can find to do other than blogging.
2) The problem of having plenty of ideas on mind but always forgetting what i wanna write when I am abt to.
3) Endless comments from pals that my blog has not been updated.
4) The fact that the privacy of this blog has been jeapordised because ppl whom know me but are not in the circle of trust are reading it.

Thanks for tuning in..
Regards
Shortfart

The 4 months lull

2006-08-11T20:22:00.000+08:00

Almost 4months since me last post. Noticed how lazy me can be. Well its always been down to one thing or the other tt me had to do instead of write. This four months had past quite swiftly, not uneventful though. Sweet and bad things have happened and sometimes ye just look back and think whether its a dream.

Finally me have officially graduated, not with flying colours, maybe ye can say crawling colours. Nevertheless, it is something me must say me is proud to achieve. Along the years, me have seen frens alike give up half way or decided to study longer. For me its always been a constant fear of not been able to meet the cut and be on the right side of the bell-shaped curve. The feeling of wanting to give up is overwhelming all the time especially during the exam periods and sometimes ye look at frens in other courses who are taking 3 day weeks, partying all the time and wonder whether ye have dug urself a shit hole. Me guess its just down to the heng suay thing. However, me never believe that ppl r born stupid, but ppl can be born lazy, made complacent and become over-confident. Anyway, to the rest of me mugging frens, jiayou...!~!~!

Its now on to the next stage in life, studying and burning mid-nite oil is a thing of the past. Everyday me keep my fingers crossed waiting, hopefully the right offer comes along and me grab it. Made new frens but me still cherish the old, but me guess me still believe that you CAN have too many frens. Where got time to go out tok cok with all, haha. No me dun have many frens, or maybe good frens. All me can say is me enjoy me present company and although me cant say they share the same feeling, the most important thing is me enjoy me time with them. If going out with others makes you feel obligated or they simply end up in sessions of complains abt 5 cent 10 cent stuff instead of the regular soccer or dota, its probably time to slow things down n re evaluate the frenship. Do they treat ye as a person who can onli share pain with them or both joy and pain. Ask yeself whether they have been there for ye, when ye have always been there for them, as yeself whether its worth it.

Just some accumulated thoughts, not much for 4 months me must say.

Can't Sleep

2006-04-13T04:44:00.000+08:00

Its 5 more hours to me first exam paper and me stil cant sleep. This does not attribute to the fact that me slept a lot over the past few days or Tiesto is coming to town tomorrow. Lying on the bed for the past 3hrs, me start to think about a lot of things like wat things me wan to do when me free other then gaming, ppl me wanna jio out for kopi when me free next time. These thoughts nvr roam me mind when me is free aka doing nothing. Then it dawn onto me tt probably me was wasting too much of me time doing things of secondary importance and not focusing on matters at hand.

Often when me was out with me frens, me would look at them and think of a thousand and one ways they could do to improve themselves when me hear them complain abt their lives. Now me guess that its a good time to start self-reflecting before me start to disintegrate into a lump of shit. Shit comes in many forms, for example, your perfect day can become a shitty one when ye see a summon ticket at ye car which had a parking coupon but it had expired by 5 mins. Shit can come in the form of getting fcuked for no apparent reason and later realise its a case of a mistaken identity. Shit can also come in the form of shit, yes, stepping on it.

Encountering shit in life is better then been shit yeself. To me, been shit means doing nothing with ye life at a quarter of a century, having no aim, no target to achieve, slacking ard, leeching others and complaining endlessly abt how miserable ye life is but not doing anything abt it. Criticising others who post a helpful comment on improving yeself, not accepting opinions and sticking to ye own self-righteousness does not help either. Yes, me is moving towards tt direction. SHITTTT!~!~!

Me can smell me stinky self now. Wat to do, wat to do...Oh no....Now it becomes self pity, damn me is weak. Ahhh... feeling better already...ok now me can sleep...forget wat me said.....just rantings before my first paper for me last sem, it better be.....haha.

Meaningless reprisals of a broken heart

2006-02-06T06:51:00.000+08:00

When a guy experiences a problem with relationships, does it always mean meaningless drinking so tt he can drown his broken heart and forget abt the endless pain or does it mean crying in a corner where nobody else can see him at his lowest. Do we guys have to do this so tt we can ultmately pull together and realise tt it is all not worthwhile after a major hangover with puke all over the place n a migraine tt can kill ye. Of cos me aint saying all women r not worth the effort n pain, some r worth every bit of time ye spent doing the stupiest things for her but me just saying tt some dont.

From a fren's point of view, it is n always will be ye duty to stand by the one hurt irregardless of how frustrated ye can be. Frustrated not at ye fren but at the fact tt y it always happens to others ye care ard ye but not yeself, y ye cant take half the burden from them, y ye have to watch them suffer while ye noe watever ye say to comfort them would not in anyway reduce their pain. It hurts me to see me frens suffer especially at the cruel reality of relationships. On the other hand it always soothes me heart to see some who have braved the waves of failure and reached the shores of success eventually finding the one. Looking at these couples, we all see hope in relationships, it can be a painful one if ye find the wrong partner but lik me say it will always be worthwhile if ye find the one tt can tolerate all ye shit n stil love ye as ye r.

Was asking meself this question, do ladies to the same thing when faced with the same problem? Its hard to picture a woman drinking over a failed relationship, crying yes, they r nv discrete when it comes to crying. But who do they look for when they go down, me heard and seen guys with many brotherhoods but ladies...nv seen many sisterhoods ard. So who do these ladies turn to for comfort? Well, me can recommend ye a few good men ladies, dont worry it aint me, completely refundable of cos, too bad no money back guarantee.

Drawing me line

2005-12-24T13:17:00.000+08:00

First of all me would like to wish me little bro, me cousin c and me sec sch fren z happy birthday. And to the rest merry christmas. The following entries may be of damaging nature so if ye dun wanna get pissed on christmas eve, ye can always check back after christmas.

For the past few years, me have got to meet some realli nice ppl whom me naturally have became frens with. However, me felt, for any form of relationship, as time goes by, we tend to take these ppl for granted or rather we expect so much more from them tt all the things they went out all the way to do for ye go unnoticed. This trend does not onli apply to ladies but the guys as well. Me felt tt me had kept quiet for too long and me kindness had been mistaken for a weakness. The reason me often dun speak me mind is becos me value our frenship and me dun wan ye to think me as a petty person. But if ye wanna continue in ye attempt to sink our ship of frenship, pls let me noe so tt me can sink it with ye rather then keep trying to mend the holes ye make.

Me felt tt me should draw a line here so tt breaches can be checked against it and new "Pls dun"s can be added.

________________________________

Hehe....

1) Pls dun attempt to borrow money from me to pay off ur watever gambling debts or bad habits when ye have a stable job n me is drawing pay from me parents. Y dun ye just ask me parents directly, like "Uncle, auntie, do ye have a few hundred dollars to spare?" Furthermore, when me borrowed money to ye last time, how many times the original 'time taken to return' did ye take to return me money and its always after me begged ye to pay me back. WTF is this, me ye fren or ye bank? Fcuk ye!

2) Pls dun attempt to ask me to go out with ye if ye real intention is a free ride. Pls then dun try to defend ye fcuking integrity by bringing up some bradder hood shit or saying me is a "nice guy". A lady fren once told me "nice guys" dun get remembered, onli the bad ones do. So if ye plan to just reward me with a "hey, ye r nice." or "ye so good to me, bradder" crap. Go n fcuk yeself. Oh, ye wanna noe y me think ye intention aint going out with me? Simple la, ask yeself the number of times ye have tokked to "other frens" (hey, me thought ye were going out with me? Why suddenly got frens there?) and compare it with the times toking to me. Ask yeself how long me sat alone waiting for ye while ye were out somewhere having fun and ironically always uncontactable. Ask yeself how many times when we were toking halfway, a member of the opposite sex interrupts and ye suddenly lost all the interest ye had in our conversation just now.

3) Pls dun attempt to ask me to go n fetch ye from ye place when me fetched ye b4 once or twice due to goodwill of frenship n ye wan to save ur car for personal reasons. And, dun ask me to go n fetch ye for supper with ye when the supper place is nearer to me place and then me have to fetch ye to n fro, it does not make the story better if me have to fetch ye freaking fren as well. Y dun ye just ask him out for supper n save me the trouble, ye drive anyway.

4) Pls dun ask me to go out with ye n ye gf or bf, it does not turn me on in anyway watching ye guys getting intimate when all me can do is "diy". The situation would be worst if there is more than one couple. Pls spare me of ye happiness cos me always spared ye of me misery.

5) Pls dun come n look for me for company or comfort onli when ye have problems or r down or maybe during exams and then disappear totally from me life when ye r happy. GO N FCUK YESELF OK, ME NOT A SPARE TYRE OR BACKUP FREN OR COUNSELOR. It doesnt make matters better when ye tell me me have no experience in the problems ye have encountered or me dun understand, ye noe wat, me is sorry me happen to be online, me is sorry ye happen to tok to me, me is sorry ye told me ye problem, n me is sorry cos me got no experience, n me is sorry cos me tried to comfort ye. FCUK YE UNDERSTAND, me was being nice trying to listen to ye problems n ye make ye problems me problems.

Of cos despite the the ppl mentioned above, me do have some frens, frens who dun mind me being short ugly fat boring. Frens who can sit down with ye in a kopi tiam where there r onli uncles n no chiobus n tok till day break over teh-o and not beer, frens tt can tok abt anything, frens tt dun take ye for granted, frens tt mean it when they ask "how have ye been doing", frens tt bother to make ur problem theirs n solve it for u, frens tt will cry when ye pass on. R ye such a fren? Me cant say me have done so for most of ye but be assured tt me is trying me best and if me aint doing so, pls let me noe cos one more fren is better then one more enemy and me dun wan tt enemy to be ye.

Wedding Bells

2005-12-13T12:24:00.000+08:00

Its been almost a month since me dropped me last post and me must apologise to me potential readers. Its been a wild ride for the past few weeks and me had been struggling to pull meself together. Got many to things to put down just no time n patience to achive it here.

Attended a fren's sister's wedding on Sunday at Sentosa. Although i knew neither the bride nor groom nor all the ppl there less me seven frens, it was an event nothing short of glamour and heart-felt moments. It was also certainly the type of event tt nudges ye in the ribs and makes ye think uneasily abt when ye gonna be next.

There weren't anything interesting to mention abt except for the short video clip of the wedding precedings tt happened earlier in the day. There was this part where the groom had to go n pick up the bride and me had the opportunity to see how low a guy can go to get the one he loves. Me fren's brother-in-law had to put on a lady's undies still wearing his tuxedo and do star jumps at the same time expressing his love for his wife-to-be. Me quite sure he didnt knew he was filmed. Anyway, me have nothing but respect for this guy, ok. There was also another part where me fren's sister throws the bouquet of flowers into the group of single ladies to determine who is gonna be married next. The funny part was there were onli four single ladies which is so different from the number ye would expect when ye watch too much wedding movies. It also shows ye r lik one of the last among ye frens to get married. Image throwing ye bouquet to nobody.

Down to the hong bao issue. Normally how much would ye put for the hong bao if ye aint directly related to the one getting married. The cut off point seems to be how much per table/number of people at table. Heres the catch, ye dunno how much per table, so ye guess and guess wat, me guess was wrong and me hong bao would need to multiply by 2.5. Well, me promised me fren to pay the balance when he gets married. Hopefully, he would forget by then, hehe.

So we were all discussing on marriage related stuff at me table, who we think would be the fastest among us to get married or rather throw a wedding banquet cos me already have four frens two couples married with child and haven did the 'yam sheng' thingy. It happened tt the longest serving couple of me frens which was eight years and still growing strong were present and guess wat they said, "a few more years lar." Well, me guess is, its still how much money ye have in ye pockets rather then how much love ye have in ye hearts.

16 year-old cat

2005-11-26T09:41:00.000+08:00

Exams were officially over for this sem and the feeling of losing me compass of life comes back to haunt me. Now with technically nothing important other than me FYP (aka fuk ye puSSy) and praying for another sem of miraclous results (tt means me pass all), there is really NOTHING to look forward to.

Rewind back 2 weeks when the tempo is high, me blood is boiling and ...

*wow, imagine if me realli can rewind time*

Anyways, me was supposed to be doing me thing of studying and me ended up doing some planning for wat to do after me last paper which ends at 12.

Me was supposed to rush back home, drop me notes n stuff, grab me passport n meet me man, E, J, S, T for a much deserved retreat across the causeway.
After the retreat, me would rush back from me seafood n meet up with C, E, K and go for some serious hunting.

As me was saying, things normally dun turn out the way ye want them to be, this was wat happened.

Me rushed home to receive a msg from E saying tt he had caught a flu overnite, meaning tt he would be unfit for operation M S. With E sick, me thought T would not be participating as well cos he noes E better. J calls to inform tt he is on MC, well done, me mean he got an MC, ye cant complain, its legitimate, ya. So tts the strength before move out, 2 fukking ppl, after 2 fukking weeks of planning n calling everybody.
Anyway, me promised S to pick him up at 2. At 215 me still couldnt find me passport, by then me had emptied my drawers and flipped through my stash. Well, it was finally found at 230, stuffed inside another book. We arrived at woodlands to find T waiting for us, amazing. By the time we were in business, it was close to 4.
Nothing special to mention abt the place we went other then its enormity compared to the others we have been to and also the addition stuff. Well, we left late ard 8 cos T wanted to watch a Singapore show on a Malaysian TV.
We rushed back skipping dinner in view of my potential plans. Turns out E who is supposed to go hunting with me is also sick. K was getting busy by the time me got back, he had already finished round 1 with the old gang. C mentioned something abt not been free. Thus 2 hunters hunting = a boring hunt. So we fell back on plan B which was to meet R for drinks.
This ends me uneventful day which was so well pre-planned but fukked up in the end. Well, maybe not.

Oh yar, we r supposed to tok abt the 16-yo cat. Actualli its was a private joke which brought up an old argument abt, as quoted "when a guy sees a ger, something stirrs in him and its not romantic". Me for once understood wat K meant, cant blame the beer, cant blame the tireness, blame it because ye r a man. This is a historical moment for in the 5 yrs me noe K, this is the first time we both agreed on an issue. Wat have we been? Enemies?

Back to the 16-yo. Well there we 2 last nite, but obviously we aint toking abt R's 16-yo cat, its the other one. Me shant elaborate on the physical attributes for fear of losing me balls, but me shall state tt they were not negative, ok? As me n the rest were getting cosy with the beer, me suddenly realised onli me, K n chilli were stil at the table. The rest? Well we thought they went aside to cool things down. So K was saying (at 3 in the morning) he felt lik going to club...n me was thinking *brillant*. Then comes along the cat we r toking abt and me and K just canot stop stop thinking dirty, well maybe its just me.

Anyway, the issue abt having a young cat. Me angel lik most uncles and aunties says its not ethical or morally rite but me devil thinks as long as ye luv each other, it doesnt matter. Let them tok behind our backs, they dun even have the balls to speak their mind anyway, so fuk them. To N who is related to the 16-yo, or to the 16-yo if ye ever read this...no offences intended...just fun n laughter.

R We Realli Happy?

2005-11-19T13:09:00.000+08:00

Me always believe that we take things around us for granted. Have u ever stopped in the middle of a meal and start to think abt how lucky we r to have freshly cooked food on our tables? Do u know that having nagging parents is better then having no parents? And do u noe that been truthly loved by somebody is so much more a blessing than trying to love somebody truthfully?

Most of the time when ppl take things for granted, they dun notice it. Its often bystanders and those whom r at the receiving end that will feel the cold and unappreciated feeling. Sometimes a word of thanks, a smile or even an apology lik the Japanese (they lik say su-mi-ma-sen for anything) would have rescued the situation towards another person. However, we often focus so much attention on ourselves that without fail, we miss out the slight twitch of anger or tolan that flash across our fren's face.

With so much said abt taking others for granted, "What does it have to in relation to our topic?" u ask. Well, the reason y most of us often feel unhappy abt our simple and unsignificant lifes is because we r not happy with wat we already had.Me have a fren, lets call him zoom-zoom, who owns an SLK. At me age, if u have a car of ur own, me personally consider tt as a blessing. However, he is often unhappy abt his life, complaining abt things he didnt have. Me sis, lets call her the tiger-ger, who is happily taken but often shows up with a face lik me owe her money (hehe, no offences ger, maybe u just need practise u cheek muscles a bit and smile more). She tells me that she may think she is happy but maybe she is not.

In me opinion, both their problems would be solved if they switch identities. Zoom-zoom will get a partner like he always wanted and tiger-ger would have no problems with money. But then again, this is not possible in reality. Me would lik to state to both of them that me dun have wat they both have.

*Starts dreaming*
Imagine me with a high end sports car and a partner to share that joy with.
*Bubbles burst*

Most of me buds would noe that this is always wat me have longed for but again without these trophies of life it doesnt mean me cant be happy. Me dun deny the countless times me asked me god y me dun have this me dun have that, and y so n so have this and so n so have tt, we r human, its natural to compare and complain. But that doesnt mean, me have to pull a long face all the time and feel sory for meself.

Me always feel tt ur life is as good as u make it to be. You can choose to be happy and satisfied with wat u already have or u take wat u have for granted and carry on complaining abt wat u dun have hoping u evently dun piss ur frens off when u have so many things they dun have.

P.S. To me frens, just trying to get u guys to appreciate wat u already have, me ears would always be ready for ur stories and me shoulder would always be there for u to cry on (shoulder for gers onli pls).

Good Service

2005-11-11T09:28:00.000+08:00

Had drinks at this place called s'krab cafe yesterday. In case you r a beer person, its located somewhere in Changi near the prision memorial or chapel. The place is nicely set with two corridors lined with tables and chairs, the corridors r at ninety degrees to each other with a bar counter in the centre and a pool table at one end. There is a also a sort of stage thing in the centre where a live band can set up their barang barang but they have infested it with high tables and stools, the ones that take up the least space; the ones u often see at clubs because their place is too small.

Next we tok abt the ppl. If u r the type tt drinks very little and tok very little but lik to join ur frens for a couple of drinks just so tt u may get lucky with the opposite sex, this may not be the place to hit on a rainy thursday nite. All me can see is the ah ma at the next table drinking beer and the little tiger ger walking ard in her new costume. Before me tok abt the ah ma,me just need to emphasize the point tt i prefer the old costume, yes the one with a scarf as top. Well, abt the ah ma, yar me was quite amazed. When we tok abt ah mas, we normally associate them with long hours of temple visits, long hours of mahjong sessions, long hours of TV watching shows like zhen qin. Apparently, this ah ma is a new breed, she smokes and drinks, with her children.

Music is not bad if u listen to them individually but not together. My point, there is no theme, one moment u hear house, next moment u here retro, then is becomes jazz. Ok, me may not be dancing lar but tt doesnt mean you can change the tempo of the music lik a ger changes her mood. It generally has the same effect of pissing u off. In case u r a soccer fanatic or bets on soccer, u may like to noe tt there is no SCV (equals no soccer) available on TV, so just try elsewhere.

We all noe that the government is actively promoting quality service throughout the nation. In due of me experience at the above mentioned place, me would like to list down wat a good example the management has been:

Switch off the TV and music way before closing time, reason because there r so few customers tt it will be a waste of money.
Get a waiter to come over and give u (equals 2 ppl) 10mins to finish 1 jug of beer after u had had a heavy meal and already downed 2/3 of a barrel.
Get the same waiter to reject ur request for plastic cups to replace the mugs, forbidded u to stay behind and insisted on the 10mins.
Put up a 'hey, buddy' smile as they were leaving when they failed to usher u out.
Rev the engine of their car as they drove past in protest.
Got the Indian cleaner to force u out after they left so its not their fault.

Conclusion, poor waiter. He got fcuked by his manager, then got fcuked by us, some more he need to put up a happy face. Wah lao, respect! In the end, the manager hummed, after me fren asked the waiter to get the manager, the waiter nv came back. Me was thinking, wat type of management is this, me mean the to avoid conflict with customers part was correct lar but wat the hell was he thinking when he didnt even bother to come up n explain to us. Its not lik we are scary looking or unreasonable ppl. Anyway too bad for them, a few more ppl will noe abt this place everytime me go drinking, lets see how long can they tahan.

Me Art of Procrastination

2005-10-28T17:25:00.000+08:00

Question...have u experienced a stage in your life when you have something of uttermost importance tt u must do but u just cant find the urge, motivation or even time to do it?

For me, I seem to be going through this period now. Exams are less than 2 weeks away and wat a normal undergrad would tell me now is tt I should be mugging away. But it seems weird cos everytime I start flipping through the lect material, tutorials or textbooks, I start to think of other things to do.

My mum wont complain cos she always comes home to see all the dishes washed, the floor swept and windows wiped. I noe I noe, under normal circumstances, u would have to pay me to do all these and even so I may refuse.

Tts not all, after all the chores are done, I start browsing through a comic which I had went through a thousand times. Not tt I wanna exaggerate but if were to take the comic and ask me wat happens on each page, I can. Then there is the collection of VCDs just waiting to be watched over n over again. Just last week, I watched 7 of them in 2 days.

In case u r thinking "hey, this guys has nothing better to do.", I couldnt agree more. To think tt refraining from watching TV, playing games and going out would be the ultimate step to developing a conducive environment and mood for studying is a mistake. Although I am proud to declare tt I had not clicked on a warcraft icon for more than 2 months and TV had been restricted to selected programs onli like news(gotta keep current if u dun wanna be the frog in the well), the target of 6hrs of quality studying per day has not been achieved even once.
Often, the above mentioned acts of procrastination will bring me through the day and the same thing tt happens every time happens again.

*Looking at the clock.*
"Fuck, its 11 already, must get in at least 3 hrs of study before I sleep".
*Flips open a book, starts reading the first line and feels eyes getting heavy.*
"Maybe I will study extra tml."
*Closes the book, and finds something to do before sleeping, switches on TV / loads in a VCD / opens another comic.*
"Ok, I will sleep in half an hour."
*3 hrs later, feels a bit hungry.*
"Maybe I should cook something to eat."
*Another 3 hrs later, sees the sun rising and outside getting brighter.*
"Ok, I realli must sleep now."

Well, I guess wat I can do now is pray realli hard: "To all the gods, pls lend me ur power and make me pass all my papers. Pass can liao, but if can get B or above would be better." Or maybe I should start off by burning my comics, giving away my VCDs and destroying my TV.

Yar, like real...

Getting Started

2005-10-21T16:30:00.000+08:00

Ok...I dunno wat to start with, stil unfamiliar with the trend for starting posts. I suppose it will have to be something like a grand entrance made by a super star or a classic joke lik .......................................*thinking*, damn I cant think of one.

Crap aside.

Wat u expect to read here will be thoughts and events of me life, hopefully all of tt will be true. Anyway, this will be to all me frens and readers (if there are any), no offences if i say something bad hor.

Phew!~!~!...finally done...took me an hr to write this...*sighs*